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Report: Students Who Take Latin Have Better Chance Of Summoning Demon Later In Life

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Report: Students Who Take Latin Have Better Chance Of Summoning Demon Later In Life
CHICAGO—Saying the classical language was a practical choice for anyone interested in awakening the dead, a new report released Thursday by the University of Chicago found that students who take Latin have a better chance of summoning a demon later in life. “According to our data, children who studied Latin in grade school were far more likely to contact, summon, and then raise a damned soul from the underworld,” said classics department chair Emily Greenwood, adding that students who learned Latin tended to be more adept at chanting ancient incantations, opening up portals, and comprehending Demonic screams. “On the whole,...
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